Heaven had been having bad dreams and came to sleep beside me. Curled underneath me, I watched her shift to get comfortable for another hour of sleep before I would whisk her off to school. Truth be told, I loved when she slept beside me. She was my completion.
I had not closed my blinds to the windows of my bedroom, which really bothered me. However, Heaven had finally found comfort beneath me and had drifted into a peaceful sleep, refusing to disturb my angel I let it ride. I peered out my window at the boring city in which I had resided in for sometime now, escaping my past. Few cars, buses and people busied the streets at the wee hours of 6:30, however within the next 30 minutes the streets would come to life.
The sun had not yet completely risen. In fact, it appeared to be a bit gloomy, sort of eerie as the clouds draped over the city, unpleasantly decorating the skies. Despite the gloom, I had a good feeling about today. After dropping Heaven off at school, I would be heading to Casa de Waffles to began a new start. I had got the job !
I probably wouldn't be making as much as I had at Isabella's, but that was okay. I was determined to set a positive example for my daughter. I had even enrolled in some online college courses. Finally, things were begining to look up for me. Besides having Heaven as a constant motivation and my grandmother's appearnces in my dreams, I had yet another epiphany while at the clinic.
Heaven wanted to go out for the school's soccer team, therefore we had taken a visit to the free local clinic to get her physical just a week ago. While there I had requested to see someone other then Rosa, the foreign nurse who never quite seemed to be all there, being that I somehow always ended up with her. Understanding of why, I was helped by another female nurse, much more reliable.
As she spoke kindly to Heaven and made small talk with myself, I couldn't help but to notice the sympathetic look she had given one of her fellow co-workers as she dropped something into the room before leaving back out.
"What's the matter ?" I had asked without realizing how nosey I was being.
"Oh, well. That there was Clara Kate, Clara Kate Holloway. Nice enough girl indeed. But it bothers me so to see her here. I myself been working at this here clinic for almost five, six years and I enjoy it. It ain't much, but I honestly feel like it's my calling. I wake up everyday excited about another days work.-- But you see Clara Kate, her heart t'ain't here. No ma'm, it's at that old theater." She had responded with a slightly country accent, not seeming to mind my nosey behavior.
"That old theater, that's shut down now ? That one ?"
"Yes, that would be the one darling. You see Clara Kate loves that there theater. In fact, bet you didn't know she use to be the owner.Been on my way home a few times and passed by her, just staring at that old building. Don't really know what happened, why it t'ain't up and running. Heard a couple of business deals went wrong, husband left with all her money, she was so depressed she couldn't handle it. But of course, I don't really know the real story. In fact, this towns full of people with untold stories. Stories waiting to be told, discovered. But we so caught up into ourselves we don't have much time or sympathy to sit and listen, just really listen, to somebody else's story. We all got problems baby, hell, I sure do. What about you ?" She looked up as she had been tapping on Heaven's knee, checking her reflexes.
"Sure I do."
"Thing is, I applaud her. I don' know. Maybe she failed in one aspect as far as being the owner of some artsy fartsy theater, but you got to have courage to even do somethin' like that. She had to have a lot of people telling her, "Clara Kate, that there's a bad idea. Clara Kate, think twice. Clara why not something more dependable, reliable, sturdy. Clara Kate you're gonna loose all of your money, you'll never do it, you'll fail." Hell I don't know, but what I know is. Despite of the things that may of held her back or the people discouraging her, all the extra shit", she looked apologetic immediately looking at Heaven. " Excuse me baby. But uhh, despite all of the things that weighed her down, she took a chance and she spread her wings and she flew. She did what she wanted to do, maybe needed to do, for herself. You see a lot of us have never flew, never even tried. But Clara Kate spread her wings."
For some reason what the nurse had said stuck with me. And as we were leaving the clinic, I passed Clara Kate, catching a glimpse of what seemed to be distant eyes. My mother had, had those same distant eyes. . .up until the night she went storming from my room. Maybe, just maybe by leaving she had spread her wings. But I'm not sure of how high or far she went, being that if anything I knew that her love for my grandmother would remain a constant factor. She knew she was wrong.
I smiled at Clara Kate, who returned a smile, and left the clinic realizng the meaning of truely flying.
***
Lightly shaking Heaven to awake her, I suddenly felt a wave of emotions go over me. I had left Isabella's cafe, and all of the detrimental aspects of the place. However, I was greatful for the place that gave me s start and an opportunity. Much like Isabella, my mother, I was thankful for her who gave me life and a chance, but I had to let her go. Let it all go, the negative vibe, the drinking, the access baggage that weighed me down for so long. It was all somewhat connected. And after years of bondage, I had finally forgiven Isabella for damaging me, yet I thanked her, both of them, for the opportunity to fly.
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