I giggled as Heaven's big brown eyes grew wide when letting out a manly burp. She cupped her hands around her little lips and batted her fan like eye lashes bashfully. I wondered was I as pretty as she when I was younger. I didn't have many pictures taken from my early childhood.
"My goodness, that was a big one !" I held my stomache as I giggled at Heaven's reaction to her own bodily functions .
"Mommy, stop laughing ." Her muffled words escaped through her folded arms that were crossed upon the table, her head down in emmbarrasment.
"Oh, come on Princess !"
She didn't lift her head. Heaven could be quite the drama queen at times . Lifting her head for only a split second, she stuck her tongue out at me and quickly hid once more.
She didn't lift her head. Heaven could be quite the drama queen at times . Lifting her head for only a split second, she stuck her tongue out at me and quickly hid once more.
"Hey, check this out !" In attempts to ease her embarrassment, I let out a sequence of lengthy burps . Anything to make her happy.
At once she threw her hands into the air letting out a choppy wave of giggles . Her laughter was goofy and contagious. Together our laughter spread throughout the tiny restaurant, attracting attention . Whether it had been negative or positive attention, we didn't care, we were enjoying each others company. Slightly obsessed with my daughter, I never wanted the moment to end.
"Mommy you said girls don't burp." Heaven said as she calmed down and pulled her glass of orange juice towards her.
"You are a princess. And a princess can do just about whatever she wants, but don't go crazy with power... You must use your power for good and know your limits. Sometimes even a Princesses slips up and when you do, you just-- cover your mouth, bat those pretty little eyes, and say excuse me. Now sometimes that may not always work, but for the most part it's a good start. Got it baby ?"
From the very day Heaven was born I reminded her not only was she my heaven on earth, but that she was royalty. Growing up with a very spiritual grandmother, funny as that may seem, I beleived in an almighty God and he was our father. My father was a King and he was the only father I ever knew of growing up. I made sure she knew her place in His kingdom and that she always would hold herself to the highest of standards...even if I did not.
From the very day Heaven was born I reminded her not only was she my heaven on earth, but that she was royalty. Growing up with a very spiritual grandmother, funny as that may seem, I beleived in an almighty God and he was our father. My father was a King and he was the only father I ever knew of growing up. I made sure she knew her place in His kingdom and that she always would hold herself to the highest of standards...even if I did not.
"Yes mommy, I got it, I got it....Hey mommy what's that man doing ?" she asked as she peered out the windows at the old homeless man that usually rested near the clinic place. He seemed to be heading from around the back of the building, his copper cup in hand. Mumbling something as he stumbled around.
"Baby, he's doing the best he can is what he's doing. Just tryna make it. This world is cold I tell ya." It bothered me to see people in such a state. The sight of the homeless man gave way to a bright idea. I could do my share of charity and teach a Heaven all at once. " Hey Princess, I got an idea."
"What momma ?" she asked scurrying over by my side.
I scrambled through my large purse searching for the gold rolex I had stolen from some pathetic customer a week ago and a twenty I had found lying on the ground earlier. After fumbling awhile, finding my treasures, I grabbed Heaven's small hands and placed the valuables into her hand. She held her hands out wide, looking down into her palms.
I scrambled through my large purse searching for the gold rolex I had stolen from some pathetic customer a week ago and a twenty I had found lying on the ground earlier. After fumbling awhile, finding my treasures, I grabbed Heaven's small hands and placed the valuables into her hand. She held her hands out wide, looking down into her palms.
"Here, time to use your powers for good. Go give this to him, 'kay princess ?" Using my hand I closed her small and stubby fingers tight around the money and rolex. Before pushing her forward, I brushed back her tight black curls with my finger tips. Kissing her on her cheek, I sent her on her mission.
Peering out the window, for safety purposes, I saw Heaven drop the twenty and the rolex into the tin cup in which the man held tightly in his hands. A faint smile beamed across his face but quickly positioned back to the regular strange and distnant look. He gave Heaven a gentle pat on the head and I could tell that her vibrant entitiy shed a ray of sunshine upon his gloomy life.
See, he was no stranger . I'd pass him by from time to time, while he sat at the community clinic listening to a song my grandmother would play for me as a young girl..."Over The Rainbow". Each time I passed him and heard the tune, my heart felt heavy. I missed my grandmother dearly. The song made me think of her and if she was somewhere over the rainbow in that land . It made me think of my Heaven, because waking to her smiling face sent my soul over the rainbow. It made me think of that beautiful place where in which all my troubles would melt like lemon drops. I always wondered was he emerged in a deep thought of that land. Maybe, just maybe it gave him hope, or maybe it made him pity his life here beneath the rolling blue skies...
I had even seen him several times as I made my way to work over at Isabelle's, he'd be leaving the old liquor store. Once he spooked me quite a bit and left me in utter confusion at the same time. He said to me in a dark and disturbing voice:
"True, it is not your fate to fall at my hands."
A familiar phrase, but from where and why to me did he speak those strange arangement of words, I do not know. I hadn't once imagined that my fate had any connection to this strange homeless guy's. ---In fact, I never imagined that I had a fate at all. Dear God, is my life already planned out for me ? Was I destined to fail my grandmother ? Would I forever strive to be this elite Queen Heaven thought me to be ?
Despite what the world thinks of me, some stripper whore, I am human . I have feelings, I get tired, hungry, lonely---very lonely, just like the next man. I work hard for my money but the world is against me without anyone to turn to. I wish it not to be my fate to fall at anyones hands--- not even my own. At the rate my life was headed when not in the presence of Heaven, I was destined for failure. The cause of my very own ultimate demise.
My thoughts carried me away again, but the sight of Heaven in her red dress and lady bug rainboots she had chosen herself brought me back to consciousness . Her smile emersed me into a place of happiness and sanity, and at once meaning came to me. True, my fate would not fall at the dependence of my alcohol addiction or the quick and dirty money at that club. I don't know if it is possible, but surely if my fate is what my life has become I would change it for the better. Heaven's fate depended on it.
I left a tip on the table for the waitress and grabbed Heaven's hand, leading her out of Casa de Waffles. leading her back to the 7th floor , 3rd door on the right of Castle Apartments, and leading her into a much better future for the both of us. I didn't know exactly how I would even begin this transition or if it was possible. But if Heaven's fate depended on it, I'd die before I 'd allow her fate fall and be doomed at my hands .
Peering out the window, for safety purposes, I saw Heaven drop the twenty and the rolex into the tin cup in which the man held tightly in his hands. A faint smile beamed across his face but quickly positioned back to the regular strange and distnant look. He gave Heaven a gentle pat on the head and I could tell that her vibrant entitiy shed a ray of sunshine upon his gloomy life.
See, he was no stranger . I'd pass him by from time to time, while he sat at the community clinic listening to a song my grandmother would play for me as a young girl..."Over The Rainbow". Each time I passed him and heard the tune, my heart felt heavy. I missed my grandmother dearly. The song made me think of her and if she was somewhere over the rainbow in that land . It made me think of my Heaven, because waking to her smiling face sent my soul over the rainbow. It made me think of that beautiful place where in which all my troubles would melt like lemon drops. I always wondered was he emerged in a deep thought of that land. Maybe, just maybe it gave him hope, or maybe it made him pity his life here beneath the rolling blue skies...
I had even seen him several times as I made my way to work over at Isabelle's, he'd be leaving the old liquor store. Once he spooked me quite a bit and left me in utter confusion at the same time. He said to me in a dark and disturbing voice:
"True, it is not your fate to fall at my hands."
A familiar phrase, but from where and why to me did he speak those strange arangement of words, I do not know. I hadn't once imagined that my fate had any connection to this strange homeless guy's. ---In fact, I never imagined that I had a fate at all. Dear God, is my life already planned out for me ? Was I destined to fail my grandmother ? Would I forever strive to be this elite Queen Heaven thought me to be ?
Despite what the world thinks of me, some stripper whore, I am human . I have feelings, I get tired, hungry, lonely---very lonely, just like the next man. I work hard for my money but the world is against me without anyone to turn to. I wish it not to be my fate to fall at anyones hands--- not even my own. At the rate my life was headed when not in the presence of Heaven, I was destined for failure. The cause of my very own ultimate demise.
My thoughts carried me away again, but the sight of Heaven in her red dress and lady bug rainboots she had chosen herself brought me back to consciousness . Her smile emersed me into a place of happiness and sanity, and at once meaning came to me. True, my fate would not fall at the dependence of my alcohol addiction or the quick and dirty money at that club. I don't know if it is possible, but surely if my fate is what my life has become I would change it for the better. Heaven's fate depended on it.
I left a tip on the table for the waitress and grabbed Heaven's hand, leading her out of Casa de Waffles. leading her back to the 7th floor , 3rd door on the right of Castle Apartments, and leading her into a much better future for the both of us. I didn't know exactly how I would even begin this transition or if it was possible. But if Heaven's fate depended on it, I'd die before I 'd allow her fate fall and be doomed at my hands .
