It All Ends Here

The death of Sile helped make my decision easier to leave the city that I had made my home away from home. I had been saving and planning to move back near home. I was finally being a woman of action.

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I must say I was dealt a hell of a hand in life. But as I lay on my old beat up mattress in our small and cluttered new apartment watching my beautiful child sleep, thinking back over it all, I wouldn't change anything at all. Everything I am, everything I am not, everything I've done, mistakes and accomplishments, it all makes me who I am.

Although the new apartments were not the fancy subs I dare to continue to daydream of, I knew that oneday I'd be exactly where God meant for me to be. My faith and trust in Him as reassurance, that all would fall into place in due time. Patience and the ability to stand again whenever I shall fall or fall short.

Despite not yet finding a job, I had a couple of interviews lined up. I had even reached out to a local community college and was looking into social work. My purpose in life had become clear to me through my journey, through my downfalls. I lived to love Heaven, I lived be the very best I could because she deserved that much, I lived to share my story, to inspire and uplift those around me and to help bring people back on their ow  two feet.

It had only been a week and I was feeling good about the move. Heaven was the happiest I had ever seen her and at peace with all. Finally, I began to feel happy, a feeling I thought I'd never feel again. Happy like when I used to lay underneath my grandmother as she sung to me and stroked my hair. To be truely happy as a beautiful feeling. To be truely happy with yourself, your life, and all the greatness that awaits you ahead. I don't think to many people can say that.

We all experience periods of rain, but just as sure as night shall come the sun will rise once more. Live for a better tommorow, because it's sure to come. Sometimes we fall, but just don't fall off. When you come from the bottom, you can not go anywhere but up. And on my grandmother, Isabella Marie, and Heaven, I promise this isn't the last you have heard of Mahogany Rose !